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Thursday, August 4, 2016

And If You Fall? Darling, Get Back Up

It's always a little nerve-wrecking when you're starting out.

A few nights ago a new friend and I settled into my dining room for what Emily P. Freeman refers to as a boss lady meeting.

And because we love her and would do everything she tells us to. Within reason (and sometimes without), we took her advice to heart.

We sat on the edge of our seats at the table. Chocolate in one hand, fancy new matching planners in the other -- as you do in any good endeavor -- and we chatted about our goals for the project, what we hope to accomplish and most importantly, why we both want to do this in the first place.

The main thread that weaves through both of our lives is a hunger for something creative. Something to throw ourselves into. To remind us that we're more than our day jobs and other adulthood responsibilities.

We have more to share together than we do on our own.

And though we're not quite ready to reveal what it is just yet, know that there is heart behind it. There is good, soulful work to be done. And we feel called to do it. To bring our friends, our community and maybe even a few strangers into a world of bridging gaps and hashing out the tricky, inconvenient, yet joyful bits of life.

We're embarking because don't have to go at any of this alone.

So, we worked. And chatted. And planned for the rubber-meeting-the-road moment. The actual doing. Past the planning, and talking. And talking about planning.

And we realized: this had the potential to be terrible at the start.

It wasn't negative self-talk out of nerves or uncertainty. It was just a fact. We weren't going to be an experts on our first try. We weren't going to be polished or naturally have it all together.

Not right away, at least.

What if I fall? Darling, what if you fly

I've seen the adage with swirling hand-letters and gold-foil print. It's a great,whimsical, hopeful thought. Inspirational. The thought of flying instead of falling on your first go-round. The ambition of moving ahead. Being discovered. Having a total Cinderella moment twirl your life into a different trajectory.

Because that's what we want to believe at the start of every new endeavor, isn't it? And in many times, it's what gets us through the rocky, uncertain beginnings. The ones that push us from thinking about starting to making the actual leap.

So often we don't fly on our first attempt. Or even our third or twentieth time. We get laughed at. Or misunderstood. Or even worse, ignored.

The truth is you might fall. It's nearly a guarantee. Not only that, but we're supposed to consider it pure joy when you do.

Falling doesn't have to be bad.

Falling gives us perseverance. Falling refines us. Falling helps us eliminate what doesn't work from our trials and errors.

We could take this further into our twenties and thirties. In our careers, in our hobbies, in our identities as mothers, daughters, friends and wives.

We learn what not to do from leaders who don't communicate well. We learn how resilient we are when there are setbacks and failures. Our work oftentimes gets stronger when it's critiqued.

And we get comfortable with doing things very badly in the beginning. Otherwise, we'd never do them.

So, yes. Falling is a reality. An inescapable one. Not always, of course. But sometimes.

But if you fall, darling, I hope you'll get up. I hope you'll start again.

 And I hope you'll be willing to fall again and again for a chance to fly.

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