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Friday, July 1, 2016

What Happens When You Find Your Space


Christen Allocco back at it again with the amazing artwork. I don't deserve her. And y'all should check her out.

I need some space.

It's what we say to overbearing people in our lives. In romantic relationships or maybe that one friend who holds you a little too close and needs you a little too much.

But, how often do we admit this to ourselves?

I need some space.

It's easy to remember when you have the time and space to do it all.

To take time away. To refocus. To get perspective. To seriously reflect on the comings and goings of our day-to-day lives and realize that we're in the grooves. We're in the rings of the tree trunk. We are in the pocket of a great Protector.

And the struggles.

The worries.

The doubts.

The dreams. Fulfilled. Expecting. Or Exploring.

They all serve a purpose. They all lead to a higher place.

I was lucky enough to have some space alongside the people I love most last week. Gracious, powerful, whirlwind space. You wouldn't think that ha beach house full of twenty two nearly grown-up people and a one-year-old would be relaxing. Or that there would be moments spent, quiet, deep together.

I couldn't remember the last time I sat still with my journal and my Bible. I couldn't remember the last time I sat at a computer without less than 10 different tabs open.

I couldn't remember a time when my dreams seemed within reach.

Or if I even cared that they got done.

So I gave myself permission to let go of guilt. To let go of the squirmy, crawling feeling that there were words that need to be written. There were emails that needed to be sent. There were people working toward their dreams in big strides. And there were years in my life ticking by where so little progress could be tracked.

But then, space came. 

And in an odd, quiet moment where I found myself alone, I heard that elusive still, small voice -- the one we all know and try our best to follow -- nudge me. Prompting me to stay the course.

To let go of comparison. To let go of the notion that the time lived in the nine-to-five aspect of my day matters just as much as the time spent creating on my own or living within the folds of a Christian community.

That all of this is for a purpose. That all of this -- all of it -- is triumph. It's for a purpose. It's gathering the bits, the pieces, and making us whole.

And it isn't something we can measure with likes, stats or bank accounts.

It's something that we can only understand when we take a moment. Admit weakness. Come up against our own stubbornness. And if you're anything like me, you put up a pretty good fight. But break it. Push through it. And listen.

It makes me laugh to think of where I was when it happened. The space. The nudging: in a hot tub with a glass of pink wine.

But it also scared me for how infrequently that happens for me, a woman with no kids and a pretty rhythmic routine. It scared me how difficult it is to be so purposeful. To carve that time out. To sit. And listen. And be encouraged.

So, to all of you, my prayer is that you won't wait too long. That you'll find pockets of time while the tea is brewing, while the kids are napping, while you commute to your jobs, that you'll give yourselves space.

And that you'll have the courage to stay the steady course.

If you need a little reminder, my wonderful friend Christen Allocco created a little phone wallpaper and a desktop background, on us! And, while you're at it, give her a little love on Instagram, won't you? 


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