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Tuesday, July 12, 2016

For the Beauty of the Things We're Not Good At

Even before I finish stretching my heart feels like a bird in cage.






































I push my leg behind me in a lunge, turning my bum from the street careful not to give the passing cars a show. I dip my head. Breathe. Push play on an Around the Table podcast and launch from the sidewalk.

My shoes kiss the ground with passionate friction for a few paces. Until the thought crosses my head that today might be the day that I can't run for very long.

I might need to stop. I might need to take a breather. I might feel like I've been running for a decade when I've only run a block.

But a voice clear, distinctive, yet gentle presses me on.

Do not grow weary in doing good.

I'm not winning medals for it. I'm not setting personal records – most of the time I'm barely within eyeshot of the people I'm running with. But, I believe it's good.

So I keep pushing at this one thing I'm not entirely talented in. Because it gives me joy. It gives me a goal to work toward. Fragile, unpredictable and tiring hobby that it is, even the days I hate it, or that it's raining, or when I'd much rather be binge-eating popcorn and watching Gilmore Girls reruns, I'm glad to have run.

Lately, I've been treating my faith the same way.


























I show up.

I lace up my shoes.

I map out my route.

I put one foot in front of the other.

And I never really know how things are going to turn out. I can never be sure I'm on the right side of this world's history. I never have answers in the midst of chaos. I never know why bad things happen to good people.

And yet. My marching orders, from scripture, sure, but from millions of other reasons: fear of unknown, wanting my future children to be good, wanting to be more like the amazing people in my life, knowledge of what my life looks like without it, are clear.

Do not grow weary in doing good.

So, I keep running.

It's funny how much harder the race is to endure when you're flaky on the finish line.

Do not grow weary in doing good.

It's funny how we don't like to do what we're naturally inclined to do – even if we know the end result is good for us.

Do not grow weary in doing good.

It's funny how our bodies and minds are so against what our hearts are naturally inclined to do.

Do not grow weary in doing good.

And it's funny how in the midst of all the questions, confusion and

indeed, the weariness, we forget that we're all runners.

We do it for beauty. We do it for good.






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photo credit: Midsommer/Sonnenwende via photopin (license)
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