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Thursday, October 8, 2015

You Should Be Scared

(Not of my face.)

You should all be terrified.

You should be shaking in your boots, whether they're figurative or literal. Or ones with faux leather you purchased on a whim from Target.

For the sake of your relationships. For the sake of your art. For the sake of your career. For the sake of yourself, for goodness sake! you should be afraid (very afraid).

I hope the grainy bits of the ground make a scratching sound as you walk. I hope you're wearing a new scarf that you bought because it makes you feel fierce.

I hope you're standing at the edge of the extra mile, looking into the expanse and wondering if your legs have enough might and power to carry you across it.

This place is hallowed, friends. It's a blessing.

I'm not talking about the fear that comes with jumping out of planes or trying to make it through a stale yellow light.

I'm talking about the fear that comes from walking in your purpose. The fear that comes with walking in the forest with zeal. With a sense of what you do matters. With a sense that you're being all that you were created to be.

I hope you're scared out of your ever-loving mind. I hope you're at the place where you're running up against fear. And you have to break the emergency glass and check the tips of your fingers for the pieces.

In December, I'm sending off a fiction manuscript to an amazing book doctor named Tanya (which is why I've been more than an absentee here). It just took one 140-character exchange on Twitter for me to fall into an instant girl-crush with her. Her profile picture with a toy octopus on her head made me fall even harder.

I've never been more afraid. More self-conscious. And more thankful that I'm sitting at the helm of something jarring.

Because that might just mean that I'm spinning my web into 

something worth doing.

Here's to getting scared. Here's to risking hurt. Here's to standing on the brink of losing everything. Here's to taking the jump while wearing heels. Here's to putting on dark red lipstick because it's Friday after lunch and, frankly, why not?

You should also be paired with unspeakable joy. You have the inherent pleasure of wondering what you could be in the space between when you brush your teeth and your feet shoot in through the bed sheets like roots through the ground.

Because you have the privilege to dream.

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