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Saturday, March 2, 2013

bounce, baby, bounce!

Suggested listening...

If you ever happened to happen upon a youth group during your TGIF, Destiny's Child and Tamagotchi years (middle and high school), you're probably familiar with the term "purpling." 

It goes like this: guys are blue, girls are pink. Bring them together, they make purple

Purpling was discouraged during retreats and Bible studies. Mainly because that meant that pinks and blues were thinking about...other things. We were supposed to be focusing on serving Christ and impacting the community. 

Once upon a time, a blue in my youth group was talking about how difficult his thought-life was. And how, when it came to pinks, (talking to pinks, dreaming about pinks, looking at pinks in one-piece suits on the youth tubing trip...whatever) his thoughts would trail to the big, capital "P," purple.

The saved for marriage kind of purple

As far as we pinks could tell, the only real solution for the blues to cease their thinking of the "big P" was thought-bouncing. They would talk about how every time they caught a glance of a young woman they shouldn't have (bounce!), or were left alone to visit a certain website (bounce! bounce! bounce!), they would have to lily-pad and hop-skotch over it.

They would divert their minds, closing off that part of their brain until they could think about other things that blues typically think about. Don't ask me what that is. Fantasy baseball, maybe? Or bacon?

We pinks felt lucky that we didn't have to bounce our thoughts. That we weren't so engaged in this big, awful purple business, that we could be friends with a guy without ever once thinking about the "Big Purple." We never learned to bounce our thoughts, because we never had to. 

But now, it's nearly a decade later. TGIF is a thing of the past, Beyonce has a child that has nothing to do with destiny, and Destiny's Child has been disbanded long enough to have a reunion. And I'm finding that we women have some purple business of our own to tend to. It has less to do with the ideas of the Thing you save for marriage, and more to do with marriage itself. 

I like to joke with my girlfriends that I have the "spiritual gift" of spotting wedding bands on the left hands of particularly attractive young men. 

We've all been there: cute guy spotted. He smiles. He makes a joke. He has a beard. And he pulls witty remarks out of his pocket like he's cheating in a poker game. You take a look at his left hand which displays a gold band that would make even Frodo envious and...


This is why we ladies get ourselves into trouble with the men that we date. They take you out a few weeks, and our minds start to purple with thoughts like, "he's the one!" and "maybe he'll ask me to spend the rest of my life with him..."

This is no psychotic exaggeration. We all do it. We get giddy and giggly over it. Dare I say it? We need to learn something from middle school boys. 

We need to bounce these thoughts. I don't have to tell you how damaging they are---how many of you have been disappointed by the end of a relationship you thought would work out? How many of you have stayed with a man who physically or emotionally abuses you because you're afraid he will leave you alone and unmarried? 

If we start to bounce these desperate thoughts, and start learning from the men in our lives instead of using them for our purple thoughts of rest-of-our-lives-fulfillment-and-happiness, then maybe we'll be free to find what it is we're really dreaming of. 

So, bounce, baby! Bounce!


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