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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

pursuing pursuit

For the past two years or so of my life, pretty much ever since I finished the book Captivating for the first time, I've decided not to date.  I've decided to wait for the man who comes to me for friendship first, romance second. 

I'm waiting for the man who pursues me.  The perfect fairy tale.  The reserved romance for my life.

I've complained to and with countless girlfriends that there is no such man out there for me/us.  There are few who can simultaneously lead and love.  We, in our young little lives, have come across men who are the product of being chased.  Who are so used to having women come to them, they are hardly categorized as chasers.

I've been discussing this and other relationship ideals with one of my friends here at school.  He described his want for a relationship where he takes the lead. 

"Don't chase me, Brett," he said.  "Slow down. Let me pursue you. It's the man's job to pursue."

Crap.

Allowing someone to pursue you takes patience.  Patience.

My cup overfloweth with coffee, not patience.

How humiliating.  Here I am trying to be cool and breezy, and all he sees is someone on the hunt.  Someone who likes the chase.  Isn't that the most exciting part about the relationship?  The part in the story that's the most exciting - the climax of the movie?

Then the guy and the girl get together with a kiss at the end.  Then the story is finished, and the words "The End" appear over the screen in fancy calligraphy.

Why?

Because the "once upon a time" is so much more interesting than the "happily ever after." 


Isn't it?

We never see Cinderella washing Prince Charming's boxer briefs (he doesn't seem like a whitey-tighties kind of guy).  We are privy to the pursuit.  The ball, the lost slipper, his hunt for his beauty.

We - sweet ladies - have been conditioned for the hunt.

And a lot of relationships turn sour because of this.  We have only allowed ourselves to dream of the chase and not the catch. 

But the thing is, is that a woman with any sense at all would long for a lasting and peaceful relationship.  An exciting adventure with a beginning, middle and never ending until death parts. 

Girlfriends, if you long to be pursued in a Godly romantic way, you need to slow down and have the courage to be pursued. 



Happy Wednesday.

B.
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1 comment

Kaleena J. said...

ugh! i am not patient enough to wait and be pursued. haha i am definitely a chaser and i've been told by my guy friends i need to wait and be chased. BOOO! however, they also said, some guys do like when a girl takes charge. so who knows.

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