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Saturday, December 18, 2010

may your days be merry

Thanksgiving was a complete disaster.

It was my first holiday spent completely alone.  Well, by alone I mean with 20 other coworkers (also, "alone")  and 50 guests I waited on.  And let me just say, for the record, I was not an angel about it.  I woke up that morning with a horrible attitude, thankful for nothing.  And I do mean nothing.

My darling neighbor Hope yelled after me as I walked out of my apartment door, strapping on her coat over her flannel pajamas.  "Come over for leftovers after work," she said.  I could have started bawling right then and there.  We have only known each other for a few months, and she was inviting me into her home with her husband and adorable baby boy. 

That made my day so much brighter. 

The next ten (...eleven?) hours at work several of my friends invited me to spend Thanksgiving with their families.  I was so grateful, I thought if such gracious and loving people are continually placed in my life, maybe being out here by myself won't be so bad after all.

I went home to change and wound up falling asleep on the couch at 8:30.  Whoops.

So, this Christmas same story.  I'm spending it in Virginia Beach with the Founders Inn.  No holiday parties with the family.  No watching White Christmas, no running down the staircase looking for stockings, no little black dress, no uncomfortable "so, why don't you have a boyfriend?" conversations. 

It's enough to make you a complete scrooge.

I just completed my first semester of grad school (with the exception of a project I hope to finish today) and my mind for the last week had been constantly racing.  I was running on three hours of sleep, and had absolutely no time to think about God or what He has done for me. 

Pitiful, I know. 

But yesterday when I was waiting for my grande coffee with caramel flavor in the Starbucks drive thru, the song Silent Night came on the radio.  As I listened to the words, this overwhelming "all is calm, all is bright" feeling came upon me. 

It was like the Lord was whispering this in my heart.  The poor barista must have thought I was having a meltdown when I pulled up to the window with tears in my eyes. 

Suddenly, it didn't matter that I would only be home for Christmas in my dreams.  All that mattered was the miracle we celebrate at this time of year. 

And don't people crave the true meaning of Christmas?  Don't they long to forget the distractions and focus on what really matters?  Don't they wish for time to reflect on what Christ has done for them?

And guess what?  I have that opportunity.  And it's...well...surprisingly and against all odds...merry.
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