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Monday, May 31, 2010

she's really gone off the deep end

Today, I realized I'm stuck.  I'm caught in the present, longing for the past and wishing for the future.  How do I do this, you ask?  I don't know.  I have many talents, procrastination, thinking too much (not well, but just too much), laughing or singing at inappropriate times.  Apparently this schizophrenic limbo game I've been playing the past couple of days is something I can tack on to my list.  Yippee!

I've spent the better part of the last couple of days at the pool.  Spitting distance away from my house.  Grab a book, a Betty Boop towel, some goggles, iPod and a good book, and voila.  Perfection.

I usually go later in the evenings, but today I spent all afternoon there.  Much different crowd.  There were little girls in their floatees, little boys begging their moms to buy nachos at the snack shack.  There were cannon-ballers, and men-much-to-big-for-their-speedo-ers, and all kinds of other crazies.

Let's just say, the freaks don't wait to come out at night in Mechanicsville, Virginia.

I was kind of floating around (it's amazing how graceful you can pretend to be in the water.  I should mention that falling is another talent on my list), during adult swim (by the way, a totally anticlimactic phenomenon - you wait your whole life to be old enough to be considered an "adult" so you can swim with the big fishes, then when you're finally old enough, it's so last year.  Wow, I've taken a lot of segways today, I think the sun was baking my brain and disabling my judgment/writing capabilities.  I'm back).

So anyway, it was adult swim and I noticed this precious baby girl being thrown up into the air by her (assumption) father.  The look on her face was pure joy.  My dad looked at me and said, "I used to have little girls that I could throw up in the air like that."

Aw.  Those were the days.  I don't really remember them, duh, but if I had half as much fun as that little girl was having, it must've been great.  Then I found myself wanting a little girl to throw up in the air.  That came out weird, but you know what I mean.  I hope.

It was just a weird feeling.  Like Derek Webb says, "Between dreaming and coming true."  I think that's where I am.  Right smack dab in the middle of it all.  I've had twenty-one years of dreaming.  They've been great.  They've held so many captivating possibilities for me.  Now, I'm on the brink of coming true.  It's exciting.

I'm ready to take a dive.

Unrelated, here is my favorite scene from Shallow Hal.


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