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Monday, December 28, 2009

does anybody hear her?

"What's worse than a smug married couple? Lots of smug married couples."
-Bridget Jones' Diary

"Once, when Aaron and I were bantering back and forth, he made some unanswerable point, and I said, 'Honey, I'm so tired of debating. Either accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, make me laugh, or get the F*** out!'"
-Kristin Chenoweth, A Little Bit Wicked

On days like these, the days that are low and discouraging, there was only one human being who could get me out of my funk. He's not here now. I mean, he's here, but in all the wrong ways. And he has a new her. And I haven't found the him for me, yet. He's still out there, if he's out there.

It's hard to give the Lord all of your struggles. Especially when you can't quite put into words how you feel. Discouraged, defeated, depressed, disgusted, and faithless all in one. Once more I'm discouraged, defeated, depressed and disgusted by my faithlessness.

Thank the Lord my mercies are renewed every morning. There's always a fresh perspective, reminding me that the Lord loves me and cares for me, and that he draws me near to him, even in the midst of the most minor, minor, minor difficulties.

But right now, just for this moment, after spending an evening with lovey-dovey college couples, reminding me of nothing but just how utterly single a girl can be, I just long for someone to hold me close and to press his chin on the top of my head and tell me that everything is fine.

There's just too much in this world to be joyful about!

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