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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

crumble and obey

When the world is falling out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing. When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees when time and space are through, I'll be found in you.
-Shadowfeet, Brook Fraser

Some days I wake up, and really feel that if I were to say move to the mountains, they would crumble and obey.

That would certainly make one of my lifetime goals to hike the Appalachian Trail more easily attainable.

Other times, in the overwhelming current of my struggle with courage, I don't think I could reasonably say that asking, no, demanding that those beautiful, powerful rocks to fall before my feet is something within my capacity.

Through most of my life, people who love and care for me have always met my dreams of moving mountains with mixed reactions. Thankfully, my parents have always been supportive of everything I've ever had my hand in (except for the cookie jar before dinner, things like that).

However, the majority of my conversations with less-involved, less-supportive friends and family members go like this:

Them: So, Brett, what are your plans for post-graduation?
Brett: Um, not really sure. Grad school. Maybe.
Them: Oh, what do you want to study?
Brett: Dont. Know. (Smiling, always smiling)
Them: Oh. Okay.
Brett: Still praying about what's next.
Them: ----

Then they go on to say things like, "Brett, you want to move mountains? Wouldn't you rather be a [doctor, lawyer, dentist, psychologist, insert boring/noble/safe profession here]? Wouldn't getting married right after college and cranking out the kids be a better use of your time?"

Even one of my sister's friends said, "You need to have lots of eggs in different baskets, and not let the baskets know about each other."

These people love me, and they just want what's best for me. They don't understand that moving mountains is my only business.

I'm not really talking about moving mountains, in case you didn't catch on to the subtle metaphor there.

I'm talking about living my life wholeheartedly for Jesus Christ.

I'm talking about having the courage to look my resume-writing peers and say that life is about more than life. It's not about a six-figure income or having a tenacious rock on your left ring-finger. It's about having the courage to say that "what you have gained is a loss."

So, here we are, at the end of the first semester of my last year of college. And I'm putting all of my fragile eggs in one big basket: Regent University.

Gulp.

I'm starting to doubt. I'm starting to ask myself the same questions they ask me time and time again, without fail.

Do I have the talent?
Do I have the drive?
Will I be successful?
Do I have the strength?
Will I make it?

Turns out, it doesn't even matter. I count all of this a loss. What people think of me, graduation, plans, the future, even writing is a loss. All of it is a loss compared to what I've gained in Jesus Christ.

I'll leave you with this:

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

That's right. When we believe in Christ, when we have faith and courage, we have the power, through Christ to say move to the mountains.


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