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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

a little bit obsessed

"No red light to stop me, hold on to who you are."

Lately, I've been reading Kristin Chenoweth's autobiography, A Little Bit Wicked. Lately, meaning I've been reading it since September 23rd when I bought it for a birthday present for myself at Barnes and Noble for $25.00.

She's phenomenal. I mean, really. Reading her book has been like fueling and encouraging the dreamer inside of me. And she's been needing some encouragement lately. The dreamer, that is.

After her Tony acceptance for her role as Sally in "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown," Chenoweth was the new hot commodity in the Broadway realm. She was made several offers for potential performances, including Thoroughly Modern Millie. Chenoweth wound up accepting an offer from NBC for her own TV show, Kristin. She played the role of Kristin Yancey, a Christian struggling to fit in the very secular world of performing. Sound familiar?

This show barely held its head above water for one season. It was replaced by Fear Factor. Ew. Fear Factor, why bother being "Associate-Pressly-correct" for such a foul show. Why did I even capitalize the words? fear factor. That's better. She's got a great attitude about it. She describes it as a "huge hit. L.A. breast-implant huge. Ask either of the people who watched it."

Anyway, it just goes to show that you can win a TONY for giving a consistently extraordinary performance as Charlie Brown's little sister, and still flop like a salmon. The ones going downstream. With the current. Not against it, like the celebrated ones.

You see?! Ethically, it might be wrong to be encouraged by other people's failures. But, it just helps to know that Kristin Chenoweth wasn't always Kristin Chenoweth. In fact, many people don't even know who she is.

The spell check on this blogging site doesn't even recognize her last name as a word. Seriously, this entire post in edit is completely highlighted in yellow. Twisted world we live in!

My co-worker, Paul, certainly did not know who she was. I was sitting in the break room at Ukrop's, a grocery store chain in Virginia (native to Richmond), reading her frilly book that I love. I just wanted to read my book in peace for thirty quiet minutes. I mean, it's Kristin Chenoweth people! She deserves a little peace and quiet.

So Paul's all coming up behind me, reading over my shoulder, saying "WHATCHA READIN' THERE, SMILEY?!" Oh yeah, he calls me Smiley. He started calling me that before Miley Cyrus took over the world. Just to clarify.

"Oh, it's just a -" I reluctantly placed my pointer finger on the word "Clinique" to hold my place.
"A Little Bit Wicked," he said. "Well, well, well, I didn't know you were one of those girls."
"I'm not. It's the autobiography of Kristin Chenoweth."
"Is she wicked?"
"No, no. She's perfect. It's just called that because she starred as Glinda in the original Broadway cast of Wicked."

No lie. This is the conversation that continued:

"Don't you know the Bible says that's wrong?" he said, being all condescending-meat-department-worker.
"The Bible...says there's something wrong with a Broadway musical spin off of The Wizard of Oz...?" Now, I'm completely perplexed at this point. I mean, what Judy Garland movie is in the Bible?

He continued. "That...wiccum stuff. It's witchcraft."

And I'm thinking to myself, "This man thinks I'm reading a book about the wiccan religion. This bright pink and green, sparkling book with a beautiful, blonde Kristin Chenoweth on the front cover. "

"Oh, I think you're thinking of wiccan, but I'm walking about Wicked."

But he wouldn't let up.

"Yeah, that wiccum stuff is just about that witchraft stuff."
"It's WICCAN," I said, politely under my breath. I never enjoy correcting people, but this is Kristin Chenoweth. Don't mess with my girl. She loves the Lord. Wiccum is the antogonist in Pride and Prejudice. Wicked is not a witchcraft religion condemned by the Bible.

I think he gave up and just walked away. I suppose cutting spiraled honey ham was less exhausting than conversing with the starstruck cashier/carry-out catering employee.

For Kristin's eyes,
I tried to redeem your name. I'm sorry. Why can't people understand? Thank goodness for you. And thank you for sticking up for the gays. You GO girl! Don't let satan or the judgemenal non-Christ following, non-loving, Christ-hindering Christians hold you back. No red light can stop you!

I'll leave the rest of y'all with a little clip from the piolot of her show. Further, extra points to the reader who can correctly identify the name of the song in the clip!

I think my new life motto will be, "Mistake, or intentional...you'll never know!" [insert eyebrow raise here]

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